lauantai 12. tammikuuta 2013

Day 242 - "One last time".




"I commit myself to go to where I feel a resistance (face the "negative") within the understanding that this way I will assist and support myself to expand and grow.

Recently I've had more resistance to not to things that to do things. For example not playing on the computer has caused me more resistance than to step outside of my social comfort zone by talking to strangers. 

In one of my previous posts I touched the topic of "doing commerce" with myself with promises to myself. With my resistances towards stopping habits (such as playing games) I often make the promise of "one last time and then I will quit". Here I promise myself to quit something later to be able to do it now. So far this has not worked. Thereby I won't accept and allow this justification any longer.


I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make a promise of "this is the last time, I will quit after this" to myself to be able to not stick with my decision to quit right now. 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the justification of "one last time" is me, as my old habits, fighting for the "survival" of my old habits. 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that "old habits die hard", which means that changing these habits will cause resistance. 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that each time I push through the resistance I will assist and support myself to change. 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not focus on the changing effect of pushing through resistances when facing resistances, but that I've accepted and allowed myself to "do commerce" with promises to myself instead - selling my later effort for current pleasure without realizing that doing this will only keep me stuck within my current habits. 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to live out of my old habits to see what life is like without them, but rather from within my old habits only look at the resistance I have towards change and state that it is "not worth it", even though I can't possible know what life is like after I've changed the habits. 


When and as I see myself making the justification of "one last time" to be able to do something that I've decided to quit I stop, I breathe and I realize that standing up to this justification is part of quitting that I just have to do. I realize that each time I do, I will assist and support myself through the point and after each time I stand up to the justification (the desire) I will make it less. I will not accept and allow myself to "fall" by doing "commerce" with myself with promises to myself - I will not accept and allow myself to "sell my future" for a moment of instant gratification or pleasure. 

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