In my previous post I committed myself to slow myself down. Today I've been putting this into practice.
I looked for a practical support to assist with my exercise being here within and as breath, and I remembered something said by Bella: "I begin again in each breath". Thereafter I started to "refresh" my awareness within each breath I took - "beginning again" by letting go of whatever I thought about within the "breath-cycle" and by making sure that I am HERE within awareness of my body (10 toes and 10 fingers simultaneously, front and back, top and bottom - everything - and what I am not aware of, I "breathe in to" and let my posture correct itself into the rhythm of my breathing).
This was quite fascinating because I realized how much I "hung on" to the moments past - instead of having my awareness be HERE; be with the "on going moment". People passing me by made me remain within that moment of passing for a moment until I realized to "begin again" by letting of the past moment that existed only as a memory that I looked upon within my mind.
From this I realized how extensively I exist in the past - be it my distant past of a moment that just passed. Almost every thought that I had was of a moment past, and my participation in them made me miss what was actually HERE. "Beginning again" within each breath changed this - it changed the way I experienced myself and my immediate surroundings as a whole. I was much more aware yet much less conscious...
This is no longer
a mark of limitation for me
as I realize that
consciousness is arbitrary.
I commit myself to practice "starting over in each and every breath" in each breath that I remember, and to investigate the moments when I do not do this.
I commit myself to begin this exercise from the moment I wake and within all the reoccurring activities of my day: being on the computer, doing house work, reading books and walking outside.
I commit myself to breathe to support myself within and as my awareness of my physical body.
I commit myself to utilize my cycle of breathing to refresh my bodily awareness over and over.
I commit myself to let myself to let go of my mind in each out breath and my bodily awareness to be birth in each in breath (unless my thoughts are something that I really need to think about - i.e. write out on paper what I will have to do tomorrow).